Retrieval 3

The frequent hilarity of Impractical Jokers, the summer of the roaming mountain lion, the way Julia Delpy almost touches Ethan Hawke’s hair in Before Sunset in the taxi, scallions seem slightly mischievous because of “rapscallion,” the dehydrated old reporter from Dateline should play a movie super-villain, why no frozen custard chain in Chicago like Storheims?, song of peace: Bobby McFerrin’s “Common Threads,” the quiet, almost dizzying goodness of the unstylish, attentive parents who shop with their severely disabled daughter at the mall, the tunnels we dig and walk through above ground, all invisible tunnels, invisible bridges, the zipper that always get stuck, the spot on your face where the zit always returns, the building in India where your whispers are crystal clear 100 yards away, the beach ball floating atop a current of air, magically, the boy who had two fake teeth he could pull out of his mouth, the man who would put out his cigarettes on the nub where his thumb used to be, the kid on the bus who had a hernia, SH’s talking parrot, who imitated her husband’s voice long after he was dead, the fantastic weirdness of the Catholic grade-school haunted house, the logic behind the decision to buy those gold-colored pair of lions for your front stoop, the slow walk into a lake, the slow walk into a fire, the slow sinking into quicksand, the appeal of the idea of quicksand and trapdoors when you’re a kid, found footage videos, all the cats (now dead) we have loved, the unknown feeling of punching someone in the face, the 4-leaf clover, found then lost, that serves as a kind of curse, the informercial advertising the knives that help you make ladybug-radishes, swans from celery, the passive-aggressive dialogue b/w mother and daughter in Lonergan’s Margaret, the boredom of reading lists, the power of creating lists, the story of P off-roading in a Jeep across the Mongolian tundra and seeing a reindeer giving birth out the window, the appeal of the country of Fiji, the rise and fall of the waterbed, the waterbed as under-used comedy device, those chairs for the elderly that carry you slowly up a stairwell, real devoted people: the Japanese man who still scuba dives the ocean, looking for the wife who disappeared in a tsunami, the father who carries his disabled son 5 miles to school on his back, the mother who puts up with the verbal abuse of a horrible boss to keep her insurance, the monk who gets up every morning, washes his face with soap he made, and walks to the kitchen to bake pounds and pounds of bread.

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